I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Two words: blizzard sex
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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