If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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