I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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