I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
