scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
