We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize