He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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