i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
