Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
