This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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