I faked an abortion last night.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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