When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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