What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
