i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
