I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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