she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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