the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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