i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
