you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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