Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
