we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
