Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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