I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
