You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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