I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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