Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she smelled like a LAN party
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
