omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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