No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I won the penis lottery.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
