when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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