I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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