so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
