she looked like the before picture.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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