You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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