i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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