What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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