I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
