I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
