Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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