I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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