I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
