I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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