There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize