the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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