Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
