how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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