I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just gargled with NyQuil
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
