i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
