We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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