We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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