I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
