Me. At least after what I've been through.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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