I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
