Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
