South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
