McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
