Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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