i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize