dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
