we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
