Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
