I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
